I have entered what I fondly call birthday season. With that comes reminiscing of my babies, who are no longer babies! Kamron turns eight soon, that’s right EIGHT!!! The twins will be five and officially starting KINDERGARTEN, and then there is the “baby” who is turning one this week. Everybody has told me to cherish each and every moment however, I am looking forward to the future. I see my kids having kids and I want to be sure that I have done everything to leave them a world they can safely live in. That is why I blog for The Exodus Road.
I was sitting at a Mom’s Night Out and one of the ladies there commented that if she heard another birth story she was going to go crazy. Then another mom replied, “You are more than your birth story.” That sentence resonated deeply with me.
When I got pregnant with my first born I felt as if I was part of a special club and actually enjoyed hearing every story that anyone could throw at me. Then, I delivered Kamron and probably annoyed every person that stood still long enough about how I was in labor for 23 hours!
After I found out I was pregnant with twins I was not so impressed with the labor stories and I really DID NOT want to admit that I had had a c-section. For some reason it made me feel like I hadn’t quite gained access to the special “birthing” story club.
Then, along came Anna. The girl was born on Leap Day and she literally leaped out! However, I was reluctant to tell the story because I remembered how I felt with the twins.
Each delivery was… Different. Special. Joy filled.
Yet, those deliveries don’t define me. I am not less of a mom or person because I had a c section, had all of my children in a hospital, yelled for drugs, was induced with one, roomed in, roomed out or whatever else I did or didn’t do.
Your delivery doesn’t define you either.
Don’t misunderstand me. Telling your birth story is not wrong. It is a very special turning point in your life. Just don’t let your delivery define who you are.
You are so much more.
I was recently talking to another mom about homeschooling and she asked me if I thought she should homeschool her child. I think I shocked her by my answer… “Probably not, but maybe, what is God telling you to do?” You see, I don’t think that every one should homeschool…
I believe wholeheartedly that every parent needs to do what is best for them and their family. Some families are called to homeschool, private school, and yes to public school. Even under those three terms are a myriad of styles that they have to chose from and some will do different types of school for each of their children.
I do not believe that there is any type of school that is better than any other. I do believe that there are types of school that are better for certain children though. That is why it saddens me when moms tote their style of schooling as better than any other style. Honestly, there isn’t a perfect type of schooling, it is just a myth just like the myth of the perfect child.
As the mom of three boys I get the opportunity to say some pretty amazing, off the wall things. People seem to get a kick out of hearing them so I thought I would share them with you.
“Don’t poke your brother in the bottom.”
“No lightsabers at the dinner table.”
“No we can’t go to Africa and ride a giraffe.”
“Ice cream is not a finger food!”
“Brush your teeth with your toothbrush NOT the counter.”
“Underwear have to go UNDER your clothes, that’s why the are called UNDERwear!”
“We can’t build a shrinking ray today, sorry.”
“Yes, it would be fun to walk on our hands today, why don’t you try that and tell me how it goes.”
“Do not put your sister in the dishwasher!!!”
So these are a few of the things I have oddly found myself saying. Yes, there are a ton more but I have to go check on the kids…they are being oddly QUIET!
Dear Diet and Health Industry,
I have given you ten years of my life. In that ten years time I have starved myself, given up multiple forms of food, felt guilt and shame for “cheating”, exercised like mad, felt unworthy, felt ugly, and basically showed my kids that looks matter more than anything. I have decided that it is time to break up.
Instead of punishing my body (and my family) with tasteless food and whatever you people have decided is the latest “superfood” I am going to eat yummy nourishing food. We are going to eat what we like and ignore what you tell us to eat. Instead of feeling guilt for not being a size two or four like your models, I am going to be healthy and enjoy life at the size my CREATOR made me.
I am going to teach my children to enjoy life and not beat themselves up for not fitting into everybody’s image of what perfection is. I am going to show my family, and hopefully other people, that we are all made in GOD’S image and everybody is beautiful. I am throwing away the fitness magazines that have sold themselves on the altar of telling women and men that they will never be good enough. I am good enough and so is everybody else on this planet! I am trading in skinny, airbrushed, and starving for healthy!
I will exercise because I like and enjoy it not because I am punishing myself for eating food. I will eat to nourish my body and will stop eating when I am full not when I have had too many calories.
I have wasted the last ten years and I refuse to waste another day.
A Neurotic Woman No More
My boys received the best gift ever on Christmas Day, it snowed! As you all know they had prayed all month long for a white Christmas. It didn’t snow a lot, a quarter on an inch, but to my three Texans you would have thought that we had a blizzard. They loved going out in the snow and “eating” snowflakes. I only got pictures on my husband’s Iphone so no pictures to share here but it is something my boys will remember their whole lives.
It was mentioned to me that I should teach my children to pray about more important things than snow. Here is my answer to that. God cares about every single thing in our lives, not just the BIG GIANT TROUBLES but also the small minute mundane. He heard the prayers of my three little boys and chose to answer yes. My boys do pray about BIG things too. They have prayed for missionaries, hurt, sick, hungry, dying, etc. They have heard God say no, yes, and wait.
However, to seven and four year old’s snow is a BIG thing. When they pray for the next BIG thing they will remember that God answered their prayer for snow on Christmas Day. I pray that in those times of hurt and confusion that they will remember that they serve a God who listens to a little boys prayer for snow.
What are you praying for?
I thought that it would be fun to do a 25 days of Christmas activity this year. I sat down with the kids and wrote out a list of fun activities to do as a family. Some of them were simple like watch Rudolph, look at Christmas lights, or play board games and listen to carols. Others involved more work but were still doable like make ornaments, go to the Live Nativity at church, or adopt an angel from The Angel Tree. Then I sat down with our calendar and my husband and tried to place all of these activities into our schedule. So far we have done most of the simple activities and I have rescheduled quite a few of the more complicated activities. (Come on be honest, you saw that coming!)
Here’s the thing though. All I have done is pile in a lot of “stuff” into our schedule. I haven’t made amazing memories with our kids; I have made memories for my kids of a crazy stressed out mom frustrated because everything isn’t “perfect.” I have made Christmas something I detest. So I have slowed down and chosen to not be stressed, crazy, or frustrated if things aren’t perfect. We are focusing on a babe in an imperfect manger on one perfect night. That is what I want my kids to remember. All of the other things aren’t bad and we will get to most of them but if we don’t, I’m not going to beat myself up.
What are you doing this month?